Thursday, 31 January 2013

Home touches!


I was excited, When i got a heads up from the estate agents saying I could paint my room! Finally something I like doing!

Now In each of the rooms at my flat, I have theme and im slowly doing the flat room by room.

Using a matt finish called Slate grey

First coat, Comes out a little patchy!

Bed and dressing table up!

Second coat of paint applied, forgot the ladder for the top half ( You must get from this I am very forgetful!)

How I left it today, Okay so the mattress isn't on, but it give you a general feel on the room!
And the theme I am going for, I have about a million pictures to go up tomorrow, after the last coat of paint at the top of the room!



MY thoughts

Has any one seen on tele How I met your mother? I was watching the episode where Marshal took 67 days to get over Lilly, In the episode marshal was so lost when she left for San Fran to achieve the career she wanted.  it wasn't until the 67 th day he woke up and he felt different for the first time he felt happy. Happy enough to make pancakes..terrible as they where...

I guess, It just made me think does heartache really last for this long its been almost 67 days.. I know it's a show.. 

But still going through un-emptied boxes are finding our pictures and everything..

I will not text him, I wont call him. 

And for once, Im glad he doesn't read my blog. 

Sunday, 27 January 2013

Cake balls

CAKE POPS! / BALLS first try

So my idea was to make cake pops, However silly me forgot much of the important ingredients including the actual sticks....doh and the scales! So now I have made cake balls.

So begin with, You need the following just to make a basic cake..

and flour!

And for the rest 

Chosen decoration

1. Simply mix the butter and sugar into a fluffy paste.

2. Add in the 3 eggs and the flour, cant give the exact measurements due to the scale issue! Just so it feels soft, but not too runny.

Adding in some food colorant. My chosen one was pink. I did not mix it in fully, so I get the marbled effect.  

Put into the cake cases and cook for 35 minutes. 

And let cool for 15 minutes. 

The cake result 

Then now the fondant, I picked butter icing! So easy and simple to mix, Icing sugar and butter. 

Now the fun part, crumble the cake up into little bits!

Mixing with the fondant, into little balls. 

Leave to sit. 

Choose your topping, This is a very expensive way of doing it as I found out!

Get messy and creative!!

Leave to sit in the fridge for 3 hours.

The final look!!

The cake on the outside should be hard due to the cooled chocolate and soft and moist on the inside,

I love the effect on the white chocolate with tiny strawberry pieces as coating!

Just perfect with a cup of tea! 

Saturday, 26 January 2013

One day at a time...

I love the fact every image you take tells a story, and captures more then just objects.

I had a passion for photography years ago, but through one thing or another things fade...

but now I have more time on my hand..

I can do things I WANT TO DO.

Enjoy some snowy pictures. 

Only taken with the Iphone 4s.

Friday, 25 January 2013

Scariest Moment of my life.

I think we all have moments like this, some point in our life.

Mine was today, The weather in cheltenham hasn't been that great, Heavy snow, freezing temperatures and dull skies. 

This was on the way to the yard to do the horses like 2 hours later driving In the dark in heavy snow down a steep hill, we saw a car stuck in the snow bank and martin to avoid it skidded on the ice the shogan did a full 180 and went straight back into the end of the car, luckily the two guys where out of the car I've never Been so petrified in my whole life! Thought the car was going to topple over going round in circles on the Ice on a steep hill. The shogan is a little worse for wear but the golf gti the whole back of it is smashed in, so all this happened while it was pitch black and heavy snowing .All because they where avoiding a walker going up the hill to see if it was safe for his daughter to drive up. I'm cold tired and just want to sleep, and so thankful no one was hurt!

Charlotte Green knows exactly how I am feeling

There was a time when I was sure of everything. I would wake up in the morning and, no matter what would happen to me that day, I would know that I could go home and be with someone who truly cared about me. We don’t realize how important it is to have a true cheerleader — someone who is unfailingly on our team — until we don’t have it anymore. It’s like walking around everywhere with a warm, fuzzy security blanket on. There will always be a shock absorber for the more difficult-to-stomach moments of life, and someone there with whom to share your pains and your joys. It’s a luxury that so few of us are afforded, and yet, we are so quick to convince ourselves when we have it that it will last forever. It becomes a constant in our lives that we take for granted, the hum of a car that is driving us safely home as we fall asleep in the backseat.
And then, one day, it’s gone. You wake up and realize that your entire day will be navigated alone, and there won’t be someone there to ask you how it was and really care to hear your answer. When something wonderful or terrible happens, there won’t be that person you know you can immediately call to make sense of everything. Yes, you have friends, yes you have family. But there isn’t that sense of navigating the stream together, of being part of a team, of having someone who will always think of you first. The partnership is different — less all-encompassing, less implied. You know that you can call them, but you want to call the one you love. The one who, inconvenient as it is, no longer loves you.

There is something more difficult in losing the partner than losing the lover. You can almost accept that the sex, the kissing, the spooning, the whispered conversations at 3 AM are all over. What seems almost impossible to comprehend is this idea that you are now alone again after having someone else to depend on for so long. You get so used to the world being seen through the prism of “us” and “we” that to exist as an “I” again no longer seems to make sense. We had a plan, we had inside jokes, we had an entire world constructed between the two of us which has forever closed its gates. It feels as though everything has disappeared behind me, and even if I could physically retrace my steps, nothing would look the same.
It’s strange because I’m not even sure if “I want you back” would be an accurate description of the feelings I have, or a fair statement to make, given the awkward position of refusal it would put you in. It’s more that I miss how easy things were when we were together, and I’d like that sense of confidence back. I’d like the security, the knowledge of who I was and where I was going, and the certainty about what my desires were in life. There are many wonderful things to discover by yourself, but it’s natural to be afraid of loneliness and facing things with no support — and I am afraid. Your love gave me strength to do things that I am now re-learning how to do on my own. I must flex my own my own muscles, remember my own shortcuts, make my own networks.
Sometimes I come home and my apartment is empty. It seems so quiet, so cold, so big. I curl up alone with the whole evening in front of me — the freedom to do whatever I want. There are a million things I could do, a million people to call, a million choices to make which could lead me directly into the arms of someone I could end up loving more than I ever did you. And it’s at moments like these where I pick up my phone, look at your number, and wonder what you’ve been doing. I don’t call you, of course, but I wonder what you would have told me if we were still together and I was feeling so lonely, so unsure. “You’re so strong,” you would say, “You have nothing to worry about.” I guess what matters now is just remembering that it is true, even if you’re no longer here to remind me of it. TC mark

Though a huge part of our largely-silent, post-dating acquaintanceship is based on the idea that neither of us have any interest in the other — that whatever happened between us is something entirely left in the past to wither and rot — I still think of you. I am not sure if that makes me the weak one in the equation (though I’m alright with it if I am), it’s just that the silence that is expected after separations seems too simple and, to be honest, too cruel. It’s as though a breakup of any kind means that whatever existed before is now somehow erased from the mutual history of both partners, never to be acknowledged again — and that just feels ridiculous.
And saying that I miss you wouldn’t quite be the right term, either, though I know that admitting you still think of someone you used to love immediately conjures up images of someone sitting alone in their room, listening to Death Cab or something equally emotional, and crying. I’m not crying. It’s just that, when I see photos of you or hear through the grapevine of something that you’ve been up to, I wish that reaching out to you wouldn’t be such an inappropriate step. In fact, it’s the whole “this requires a long, drawn-out explanation of why we’re talking again” thing that really confuses me — am I not allowed to ever consider your existence again? In almost every other aspect of my life, keeping tabs on things and remembering what was good is something to be praised, something that makes you an adult. Somehow, this is the exception.
What have you been doing? Are you happy in your life? The things that you always talked about doing as we lay together in bed, looking at the ceiling in that kind of dreamy, half-asleep lull of honesty — are you doing them? I want to know what you’ve been up to, I am genuinely interested about the turns your life has taken and the people you are now choosing to spend it with. Perhaps it would be inappropriate to ask, but who are you dating now? Do you like her? Do you love her? I know it must sound strange, but I have a hard time picturing even the concept of love involving you and someone else. When you create such love with someone, as you do in a relationship of a certain magnitude, the entire word “love” seems to belong to you and you alone. If you have chosen to share it with someone else, do you mean it?
Do you think about me? I know, it’s selfish, it’s childish. Nothing screams “immaturity” like wanting to catch up with someone only to shortly thereafter find out exactly what percentage of their life has to do with you still, but I’m curious. As much as I genuinely find myself thinking of what your life must consist of, it would be comforting to think that you have the same moments of reflection about me. Tell me that something as great as we were sort of echoes through the rest of your life, occasionally tapping you on the shoulder to remind you of a past that you so clearly left behind. Tell me, because the world would seem a bit too cold if it didn’t.
I have thought so many times about the implications of contacting you, of telling you simply that you’ve been on my mind, and waiting for the repercussions to permeate through the twisted groups of our mutual friends. It seems almost an exercise in masochism, the unbridled exposure of one’s heart with the expectation that, at best, the other won’t actively humiliate you. Don’t humiliate me. This isn’t some white flag with the implication that “you won” some unspoken competition — I would hope that our time spent apart has moved us past the petty distinctions of “who is happy” and “who is sad.” I would hope that we have both become happy enough in our own lives, and on our own terms, that joy is not something that has to be divided up amongst us. I want us to both be equally in love with our own chosen paths.
Yes, I am still curious. I wonder what has happened to you since I last saw you, touched you, whispered something in your ear. I wish that getting coffee and catching up like old friends was something acceptable for the two of us to do, and not something that came with a million implications about how desperate the initiating party must be. But, in the interest of honesty, Ido wonder. I guess I’d like to know that your life has gone as well as I had once hoped it might, and that what you have become is something that you can sit with at the end of the day and be proud of. I knew you were meant for great things, and I want you to achieve them (even if I may have experienced a moment or two of selfish jealousy in the midst of our separation). You deserve so many great things, not the least of which is my honesty.
I still think about you, do you think about me? TC mark


I don’t want to be this person. No one does. No one wants to admit that they are unable to move past something which happened so long ago that not even the most hopeless romantic would justify it. I know when I’m being pathetic, and letting something eat me from inside like a rotten tooth, and I don’t like it any more than I’m sure other people like to be around it. I can feel that I walk into a room and, when I hear you might be coming later on, suck the energy out of it completely. I know that people are holding their breath, waiting for me to make a scene. I know that everyone thinks I should have gotten over it. I hate being her, but she’s who I am.
Part of me wants to ask you to let me go, even though I know how ridiculous that is. If I really think about it, I understand that you are not intentionally stringing me along or periodically giving me false hope for something we might have in the future. You’re no longer a part of my life, and you don’t even acknowledge me. As much as it pains me to admit, you likely don’t think about me. Your days probably turn into months without ever fondly looking back on the time we spent all day walking through the woods, watching the leaves turn and holding hands with our fingers laced. Those memories don’t exist for you — or, at least, not in a way you have to acknowledge. You can store them away for a rainy day when you want to think about something sweet and forgotten. I have to live with these memories, constantly nipping at my ankles and reminding me that they are everywhere I go.

I know that it’s not your fault. But I want to let go. I want to walk away from what we had and make every day a conscious step towards something more positive, something where I don’t factor someone into my life who no longer cares about me. I want to be brave in a way I always used to be, but haven’t been for some time. I want to return to the me who laughs at jokes the loudest and is always up to try something new. I miss her, and at times have almost forgotten who she is. Part of me believes that the moment I truly let you go will be the moment I get her back — that you are, in a way, crowding my life and preventing me from living fully. But I know that it’s not a step you can take for me.
I love you more now than I ever did, I think. And I know that part of this must be because I cannot have you, and things are always heightened with desire and longing. But I don’t know how to pretend that I don’t still burn for you the way I did when I was allowed to express it, if not more intensely.
Please know that I’ll stop reaching out. I’ll stop making a fool of myself. I’ll stop being this person that I never wanted to be. I am working every day on making my life something beautiful and fresh and interesting, something that has nothing to do with you. And I hold nothing against you — even if I wish I could, even if that would make everything so much easier — but I know I can’t be around you. I’m working up the courage to phase you out of my life (and my mind) completely, so that one day you can enter and leave as any other pleasant acquaintance might. Because I’d love to just run into you in a grocery store one day and have a nice little chat about what we’ve been up to, then go about my day as if nothing happened. But right now, I know that I couldn’t. I know that seeing you unexpectedly would destroy me. One day, I will get there, though. I’ll be me again, and I’ll have forgotten this brief interlude of sorrow. I hope you meet me when I’m that person, so you can forget who I am today. TC mark

-charlotte green

Saturday, 19 January 2013

Funky zebra nails

Superdrug on sale 99p

I have never actually tried stick on nails, I have Minx on my toes occasionally which is the professional version, but WOW was I amazed by these! So simply and so easy to put on! Just a little tip! Do not put them on before a hot shower!!

Old nail polish removed and nails filed.

Simply pick the size of the nail and apply the sticker on to the nail. Press down using the cuticle stick to  secure the sticker on to the nail.

Fold the sticker over the nail, using the nail file which comes with the packet, file off the bits that are too long. 

And the final result!!! Looks very clean and shiny! Will just have to see how long they last! But over all a bargain for 99p!!

New year new place

It is crazy to think what has happened this year, me an Nick broke up I lost both my house and job and car.The saying it doesn't rain it pours comes to mind at times like these.

So with it being nearly 50 days since me and Nick spilt up, Seems when it is true love things dont get any better. The whole fact he has completely moved on kills me enough and the fact I still miss him hurts. 

Everyone has used the saying oh you will feel better with time, and you will move on. So far it isn't true  I am waiting for the day when I wake up to look beside me to see if he is there, I guess that is what you get after 4 years of being with each other. 

I think It is worse when being so long with someone in a relationship you plan things, both children and buying a house. 

I guess It hurts to see that one guy you love and still care about want to find someone else. 

so to sum it up, I love him and miss him like crazy and with us not talking I feel like I am going mad?!


Anyway, Bad news over Here is the good!!


And, It is gorgeous!!!!!!

SO another big news!!


I am so excited and glad finally in the last couple months some good has come out of the bad! I pick my keys up on the 28 Th. of january and excited to finally be more independent and do my place how I like it!!

After living with a boy for four years!! 

I need the change.

January pictures